Fifteen years ago, this is the last project I would have imagined myself undertaking. Time is a funny thing, since here I am proud of what I am working on.
Somewhere between 2020 and 2023 I became aware of just how much "fun" I was having, and how it was slowly eating my dreams. One more game, one more happy hour, one more hit, one more hour of staying up late. For me and many in their twenties these behaviors are absurdly common coping strategies especially when life is challenging. Now in my thirties, I began to question my relationship with this fun that was absorbing a good bit of my life.
I told myself that having an irresponsible amount of fun was the necessary antidote for living a serious workaholic's life 50-60 hours a week. Giving any of it up would change the formula for who I was. My identity and my habits were deeply intertwined.
Habitual Revelation
When I came across a quote from Blaise Pascal “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone” I felt it illuminated the core issue at the heart of behavioral and substance use disorders. For most of us when we stop moving and acting with the world our mind rests and thoughts of boredom, past darkness, and anxiety mix in with our present.
This is the space where our bad habits form. Where our reach begins. Where the thing that pulls gets its start. Things begin innocently enough, often with friends and laughter, and new memories form of having fun and enjoying yourself.
As life goes on, and responsibilities accrue, and these behaviors become part of our identity, as they are repeatedly turned to to drown out whatever feeling would be there otherwise. Often stress, boredom, loneliness, or feeling inferior.
For myself I realized that so many of my behaviors: workaholism, gaming, and light substance abuse were really due to my fear of sitting in silence. It felt like a need to always be accomplishing something, or having fun... I couldn't let time pass by without making the most of it. As I got older these pursuits became more lonely as I became more successful while everyone else became busier.
The Wakeup Call & Shame Spirals
Years may pass while you have things under control. You go to work. Your family and friends don't notice.
Then something changes that breaks the balance. Maybe its a loss, an accident, or burnout at work. Whatever it is you are suddenly left with the unsightly question "Am I Addicted?". The answer, if you even respond, is rarely shared with anyone, for fear the stigma could make life harder.
If your habit is one rewarded by society, like workaholism, or having lots of sex, shame won't quite hit the same, but there will be a growing unease with this part of your life.
I would take these uncomfortable feelings of self-awareness to mean your subconscious is rejecting the reality you live in. This often triggers more pain, and thus a stronger desire to indulge more right at the time you know you should be starting to cut back.
Quitting & Dreading Change
When quitting a habit that they feel helps them cope with some darkness in life or especially if they have become physiologically addicted to the substance the individual feels a sense of loss or grief at the thought of giving it up.
This is the last trick of ego. Your brain has wrapped up your identity so tightly with this thing that gives you comfort, that it is yet another obstacle to quitting or getting control.
The first step of Alcoholics Anonymous is to essentially "Admit Defeat" that you are powerless against your affliction, for many who still have their life together, this feels like an insult. The "abstinence only" mindset further drives others away due to what its ramifications would mean for their social life and identity.
To these organizations' point, and probably one they see all the time, is that after a period of abstinence people over estimate their willpower, and might say something like "one won't kill me", then a few weeks later they are up to their old habits with a deeper and renewed sense of shame.
Automating Accountability
What is revealed by the "relapse problem" is that when we re-trigger these old brain reward pathways, they tend to go right back to their peak usage behaviors. Lifelong abstinence is recommended for those diagnosed with addiction because it works, and it is the only surefire way to make sure you don't re-engage with these self destructive behaviors.
The reason Abstinence is suggested is that If an individual with addictive tendencies will need perfect willpower all the time to control impulses and habits, for almost everyone this is impossible. If they slip, then the barrier keeps dropping until they are back to square one where the habit is in control.
At the same time, many are turned off by this insulting notion that they can't handle their own lives, or that they have a rare experience that might enliven their lives. Further the public interventions that Alcoholics Anonymous and similar organizations utilize is embarrassing and time consuming.
Ideally, there should be a solution that can catch you before you develop addictive tendencies, and support you when you have them. This solution should allow you to "soften" or "soft-quit" in a controlled way, that prevents the shame and grief of losing part of your identity. It should be a private, self chosen intervention that can also be expanded to include social elements such as your accountability partner notifications for those who are working in conventional Addiction Treatment.
An Addiction Model
Every individual's desires and use patterns are different, however there is a general trend to the pattern.
- Some pre-existing "darkness" that drives them to distract themselves
- A behavioral or substance habit, that "helps" to deal with this darkness in some way
- If this habit becomes self destructive, a deep sense of shame develops
- This shame inspires a desire to quit / cut back in some degree
- A fear of loss at the thought of quitting that compounds with the original darkness
By this model no-one is really more responsible for their behavior than they are for their original darkness, nevertheless people need to reach a healthy state before they do irreparable harm to their lives.
The Detox Box - A Solution to Willpower Deficit
The core problem with addiction is the automatic reach that characterizes it. A device guarding an object, preventing use, is a sort of temporary abstinence that seems obvious. This acts directly against the habit preventing use for a duration, however the interesting question arises "who is going to make them use it?"
Because the notion of not being able to stop a behavior is central to the addicted mind it means the thought of stopping is constantly on their mind. These individuals' dream for themselves and their integrity is still alive even if it is on life support.
If someone wants to quit, ideally that should be all they need. By leveraging the best intention of the recovering individuals with the Detox Box, it's possible to filter behavior and gradually lift an individual upwards by allowing them to pace themselves with confidence. As space is allowed for recovery the individual can work on healing their "darkness", whatever that is to them.
Additional benefits to this approach are that it is a private intervention that doesn't involve public meetings or declarations. It lowers the social barriers to entry, so that people without severe issues might adopt it and prevent their own addictions to optimize their life.
Further there is no sense of loss or grief at the loss of never being able to go to a "risky event" such as a house party, or music festival where they might encounter these trigger behaviors. Having a willpower solution for your daily life means that whatever/whenever something pulls you, as long as it can be contained in a box it can be controlled even in your weakest moments.
A Temple to Yourself & Your Dream
We've designed the Detox Box to fit this mission, and that starts with the beautiful exterior. It's over two pounds of premium hardwood and brass, a reminder to take the commitment to yourself seriously. Trying to break in is impossible without destroying the device due to its dual cam-lock mechanism and rigid brass fixtures.
If one were very motivated, of course they could destroy it, which would be very difficult and likely destroy the object inside. Further while you're attempting a jailbreak, your mind will have a chance to intervene and disrupt the habit. Ultimately, the point is to be a cherished item you will feel proud of. Just like you should feel about yourself.
Every time you use it, after the nightly or weekend wind down, you put your vice away and go to bed feeling good for taking care of yourself. The second you start feeling like things are getting away from you, you can decrease your pace and carry on.
You're not locking away who you were. You're making a stand dedicated to who you want to become, and put guard rails on your bad habits.
To Heal, What Do We Need, Truly?
Honesty time: a beautiful box does not heal you. Anyone selling you a gadget that "cures" anything is lying, and this whole project was born out of being tired of lies like that.
Healing is a spectrum, and the box covers exactly one segment of it. It buys you space where you can develop peace of mind. You know that the day you stop the darkness will come rushing back to fill the void, but you are facing it on your terms.
What the Detox Box does is control access in the moment. That's why every design decision follows one rule: effortless when you're calm, immovable when you're not. You set your terms in seconds, with a clear head — a timer, a daily window, a weekly rhythm, a countdown. Then there is no override, no negotiation, no 2 a.m. or holiday exception. The interface is deliberately boring for the trying moments because that is exactly when you shouldn't be making decisions.
What the box does not do: fill the silence. The darkness that started you on this path. The reaching, the boredom, the grief, the fear of sitting quietly in a room alone — is still yours to face. The hours the box gives back have to go somewhere: a walk, a meal with someone, the project you kept postponing. And if you're past pacing — if the pull owns you — then what you need is people: a doctor, a counselor, someone who does this for a living. You can find out more about Getting Help here
The box handles the moment. You handle the meaning.